29 July 1906 - 1 Aug 1986
Birth Certificate
Her family was a very close family. When her paternal grandfather William Thomas died in January of 1918 (pneumonia and old age), it was hard on the family.
There was a family orchestra. Edna or Nedra played the piano. Nedra also played the organ. Winfield played the coronet and the father played the violin. Harriet had a wonderful soprano voice.
Nedra had one sister and two brothers. Her sister was Edna who was four years younger. Her brothers were Edwin (twin to Edna who died in a flu epidemic about 1919) and Winfield. She remembers when Edwin died. It was very traumatic and hard for her. She missed him. The family did not seem complete without him around. The whole family also had the flu. Edwin was hit over the head while playing the game "train" and he died about ten days later. Edwin was blond and Edna's hair was a gold color. They used to be called "silver and gold." Nedra thought that was wonderful and liked those nicknames.
When Nedra was six, she moved out to Garfield for about 14 years. When she was 20, the family moved back to Salt Lake. While Nedra was growing up, Garfield, Utah was a mining town. It is not there now. The company owned the town and everything in it in a company town. The family leased their home from the company that John was employed. Nedra grew up in a middle-income family.
Her father was the first to teach Nedra to pray. Nedra thought a lot of prayer and of the Holy Ghost. Her father was not an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He did not care what church his family attended. They just had to get religious training somewhere. As a child (when attending Sacrament meeting), the family were to sit together. Nedra called it "afternoon meeting." They also had family prayer. There never was a meal without a prayer. They all took turns praying. Her father said beautiful prayers. She remembers her dad saying a prayer over a sick child. If Nedra and her siblings did not go to primary or Sunday School, they would not be allowed to play until church was out. They were taught that they had to go to church and not just to the church parties.
Nedra remembers her parent is helping the needy often... It was done in secret many times.
Nedra and Edna always did the evening dishes unless they were ill.
When her mother was ill, Aunt Rye (sister to Harriet) took care of the kids. It did not matter if Harriet was operated on or if her health was poor. Her mother also had high blood pressure. The general family health was good. Harriet's health was off and on. Aunt Rye was close to the family. She was loved more than anyone was. She lived in Idaho. She was like a second mother.
Nedra attended Webster elementary school in Salt Lake City, Utah for a year. The rest of her education was in Garfield (the town is non-existent now). In high school, Nedra helped people with housework, helped to put lunches in sacks for workers. This paid 50 cents a day. She got a 10-cent raise. She felt that she had a good job. This was used for school money. At that time, workers at Kennecott had to live in Garfield or Magna. Nedra was in the glee club at school. For one semester, she was in the orchestra. She made good grades in school. She usually got a "B" average.
Nedra attended public schools and graduated in either 1927 from Cyprus High School.
The church steps were the "hang out" where mischief was planned. At one time, 18-20 kids wanted to make candy with cream. There was not enough cream so they went and stole some from doorsteps after it was delivered by the milkman in the evening. Carefully, the top would be taken off. The cream would be taken out and then water would be put in. The milkman prided himself on good quality dairy products. The candy was made with the stolen cream under adult supervision. The parent's did not know it was stolen until two years later. Harriet Dunn McFarlane asked the milkman why he added water to such good milk. When the taffy was made and put out to cool, the dog ate it and died. The kids teased that the candy killed the dog.
Nedra's first date was when she was 20 years old. However, she was always in a group setting. It was not as it is now. Dating was when the couple started to get serious. In Garfield, there was not much to do. There were dances once a month at the church.
She was an excellent student in high school and in college. Nedra attended the Holy Cross School of Nursing and received her R.N. degree there. From 1931-35, she worked up at the Holy Cross-hospital. She met Bert in 1934. She dated Bert about a year Ray thinks, he is not sure. Back then, courtships were longer than they are now. She was in the nursing profession for 50 years. She loved that field. Ray feels that she went into nursing because she enjoyed helping others and she did very well in the Biology and other health subjects.
She got her R.N. degree before she met Bert at the Holy Cross School of Nursing, which is at the University of Utah now.
Ray feels that his mom could and should have been a doctor. When she was taking care of someone or in the operating room, she had a sixth sense. Especially when she was working surgery. She was critical of surgeons because she spent so much time in operating rooms. She never said anything to the doctors because she was raised never to question a man's authority. She liked the nursery and surgery the best. She would go to work at 5 -5:30 a.m. She also worked many graveyard shifts. She was proud of her nursing profession. Back then, women weren’t encouraged to go past nursing or else she would have been a great doctor.
From her parent’s example of helping others, she decided that she wanted to help and serve those who needed it. She volunteered for the Red Cross. Her job was to send information out. She also babysat for a crippled woman who had four children. She helped people to do errands for years. She also worked at the Murray B. Allen Center for the blind. Approximately 1968-69, she helped Tony Polycronis (friend and neighbor) when he became ill. She also took care of his wife Sophie and Sophie's mother. Sophie lost her sight and need insulin.
Nedra did a lot of special duty off and on at the Holy Cross Hospital for 3 ½ - 4 years. She also worked in many homes for all ages. She worked at the arsenal as a nurse for 2 1\2 years even though she had a lot of trouble walking.
She first flew on Western airlines. She applied to be an airline stewardess. Back then, stewardess had to be a nurse. She flew from Salt Lake City to _________. It was just a one trip thing. For one reason or another, she did not stay with that job. She loved to fly and found it enjoyable.
Nedra and her sister Edna met Jennie Binkerd at a drug store. Jennie was upset at that meeting because there was a rumor that Bert took advantage of a girl. Jennie asked the girl if this was true and the girl denied it. She said that Bert was a perfect gentleman. A different guy had asked her out and she was repulsed by him. He was the one who started the rumor.
Religion never affected Nedra and Bert is dating. He would sometimes go to Sunday School with her. They respected each other’s religious viewpoints.
Nedra was scared to death when she got married. She was married on her brother’s birthday (W.W. McFarlane). They were married at 468 Redondo Avenue in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was at her parent’s home. There were two marriage ceremonies because Nedra wanted to be married by a L.D.S. bishop by the name of Clarence Shank. Bert wanted to be married by Reverend Elmer Goshen.
Nedra liked best about Bert was that he was there for her. They did not really ever fight. They had a lot in common such as yard work, kids etc. When they lived on 33rd South and 11th West by the Jordan River. Ray remembers his mother calling out the door that “supper was on” to Bert. Nedra and Bert had a calm relationship. There was a lot of understanding. They were there for each other.
When they became engaged, both families were complimentary and happy. They were engaged about a year. She got married late in life. Bert’s inner strength and being a gentleman drew Nedra to him. They walked a lot during courtship. Ray feels that it was love at first sight when she saw Bert. Ray does not know how his father felt. Ray guesses that their first home was with Bert’s mother.
When she was pregnant with Ray, she and Bert went and saw someone who just had a baby. She announced to him that she was pregnant by saying "would you like to hold a baby of your own?" He stopped the car and just squeezed her. When Ray was born, she was scared to hold him because he was so small. It was not long before he was held all the time.
When Ray was eight years old, the family was at Edna’s house on 10th East. In the morning hours, Ray head the conversation between Nedra and Edna saying that Bert had died. On June 4, 1944, Bert died after six weeks of illness. Nedra took it very hard. She loved Bert very much. After his death, she never married the next 52 years until her death.
With every pregnancy, she was morning sick. She would at first think it was something that she ate. Bert got sick that was similar to morning sickness at the same time. After the labor was over, Bert got the cramps.
On a typical Sunday while the boys were growing up, dinner was a big thing and they would eat together. During the week, Ray remembers eating piece meal because Nedra was working. When she was working at the rest homes, she worked mostly graveyards and the boys were left alone. The lived a house (after Bert died) that had an apartment downstairs at 2582 Green Street in Salt Lake City, Utah. Edna lived up stairs. Nedra enjoyed cooking and was good at it. Ray especially liked the creamed Cauliflower and meatloaf.
Arden lived only five days. Nedra was deeply hurt when he died. It was very traumatic for her. Arden was named after Nedra. His name is spelled backwards is Nedra.
Nedra disciplined the children more than Bert did. She did it by mostly talking to them. After Bert died, Ray and Frank would be in bed. Nedra would come and beat them with a broom for something that they did earlier. The next morning, she would be so sweet it was sickening (according to Ray). Ray does not remember many spankings but mostly talking. Lying made her mad. Ray tried a couple of times and Nedra saw right through him. Bert was very gentle and did not do much disciplining.
She raised her children as a single parent. Ray was affected by not having a masculine disciplinarian around. He shot off his mouth a couple of times when he should have been knocked on his butt. Nedra had the boys do chores such as dishes etc... Ray would try to get out of it but Nedra would always catch him.
Nedra was full of spirit. She would say, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out.” Nedra had car that Ray and Frank (junior high school going into high school) would steal at night and drive it. Ray and Frank both had keys. She caught her nephew Marvin McVey (Edna’s son) a couple of times. Nedra liked to walk and did a lot of it. That was her mode of transportation before she got her cars.
She had been in poor health while her children were growing up and in her older years. In 1939, she had an operation to help the bone infection in her breasts and rib bone marrow. It took 5 years to recover. She had Osteomilities (tuberculosis) and spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital. She had surgery and was one of the first guinea pigs for penicillin. It cured her. At one time while receiving an IV, the veins collapsed in her arms so the IV was put in her feet. When Nedra started to take the penicillin (every four hours), Bert gave it to her faithfully. In 1944, she got some penicillin. This was harder to get at the time that Bert died.
She was in a body cast for a year. It was right after Bert died. Ray remembers Frank going to Nebraska to live with some relatives but he does not remember whom. Ray went to Magna (then called the “Arthur Mills.” (Company housing) to live with his Uncle Win (Nedra’s brother). After about 1 ½ years (1944-45) he went to live at St. Anne’s orphanage until the fall of 1945. He would come home on Thursdays. Ray said that he felt vacant because both his mom and dad were both gone. It was very hard on him.
Nedra was still sick and bed rest. She would read a lot. She was at Edna’s during all this. She and Edna were inseparable throughout their life. Nedra was upset the way the family was being split up while she was so ill. She did not like it but she had no control over it. It bothered her all her life that it had to happen.
She also had stomach problems and rheumatism that affected her walking. She had bad back pains and that was how she found out that she had a mild heart condition.
She was not well when Bert died. She had a hard time walking. Ray and Frank had to help dress her. Her bones in the spinal column started to bother her. The disease in her breast and ribs had spread. This was the cause of her not walking too well. She was put in the hospital. During this time, she rented out her home at 2499 So. 8th East.
At St. Marks hospital, Dr. Pemberton told her that she might never walk again. She had a small body cast and her legs were the only things moving. She eventually got a complete body cast (which was necessary to live) for 14 months. The only thing that she could do was to feed her self. Nedra would pull her bed over to the other patients (who had eye operations) and help feed them.
Many religions prayed over her. The elders from the L.D.S. church administered to her a lot. Her brother in law Mac McVey did also.During a back operation, she was being given a transfusion and her veins collapsed. They had to find another vein fast. She almost died. They had to make an incision to find the vein.
Nedra's sold her house and moved into a house with her sister Edna. She could not be left alone. The house that Nedra and Edna bought was at 2580 Green Street in Salt Lake City, Utah. Edna lived upstairs while Nedra lived down stairs in her own apartment (2582 Green St.) . It was a joint deal. She lived there from 1946 to 1986.
The hospital was good to let her children come see her even though kids were not allowed. While she was in the hospital, the kids were placed in the St. Anne's orphanage for 1 ½ years. She was able to see the kids on weekends. She fought off depression by having pictures of her kids by her bed. The doctor had her try to walk. She took eight steps very painfully. She had the faith that she would walk again. She read books and crochet to full her time while at the hospital. In 1952, due to more health problems, she had a “female operation.”
After Bert died, finances were tough. This was another trial she had to go through. Before Bert died, the income was fair to moderate.
Nedra had some chances to remarry. A couple of years after Bert's death, she met a man that she thought she would like to marry. While doing dishes one time, she started shaking and had a negative feeling come over her. She decided not to marry him and felt a great relief. She found out years later that the guy was a wife abuser. She said that she was so grateful for prayers being answered. Nedra dated a few people. She like a couple of them but for whatever reasons it fell through. Ray feels that she had such a great love and devotion for Bert that is why she never remarried.
Nedra believed very strong in prayer and that God answered them. Her grandchildren Chuck, Scott and Toni were the subject of a custody battle. It was the day of the final decision. Nedra was out in the hall of the courthouse with them. She had them go to a quiet little space with her where they all knelt down to pray. Those kids had never prayed before. She expressed her testimony that if the judge was to make the right decision that they needed to pray. They needed Heavenly Father's guidance. Her example that day made such an impact on Toni. Toni learned that she could pray to God and her prayers would always be answered.
She worked in Long Beach, California for 3 1\2 years for Mrs. Ramseyer. Mrs. Ramseyer's sister in law phoned to see if anyone who was L.D.S. could give insulin shots and chauffeur. Edna (sister to Nedra) found out about it in a round about way. Nedra called a bout it with the understanding that she would try it out for two weeks. That job last quite awhile and Nedra loved that job.
She worked at the Temple Gardens and Bonneville nursing homes. While Nedra worked at Bonneville, Chuck (grandson) needed a merit badge. He asked if he could work nights with her. He would not handle patients but he helped the nurses. Everyone was impressed. She helped him with his merit badge.
Nedra had a good relationship with her daughter in laws JoAnn and Joanie (Ray’s ex-wives) and Buffie (Frank’s wife) . However, she did not have a very good one with Carol (Frank’s ex-wife) . Ray, and JoAnn lived with Nedra for awhile. After her grandson Chuck was born, they lived there until he was 6-7 months old. Frank and Carol lived with her also but not at the same time as Ray.
Nedra had a stroke and was put into a rest home. This was so that she could have 24-hour medical care. Ray and Joanie would do her laundry which she appreciated. This meant so much to Nedra that they would do this every week so she could have clean clothes. She loved having visitors. It brightened up her day. At times, she would not recognize them right off but it did not take long for her to remember them.
In 1985, while her granddaughter Toni was living in Texas, she had a stillbirth. She was having a hard time dealing with the loss. She went up to Salt Lake City to be around her family for some added strength. While there, she went and saw her “Grandma B.” At first, she did not recognize Toni. When she realized who it was, her face lit up in a big smile. During their visit, Toni spoke of her loss. Nedra got emotional as she spoke empathetically with her. She spoke of how she felt when her own son Arden died and how hard it was to have empty arms. This conversation even bonded the grandmother and granddaughter even closer than they were before.
For entertainment, she liked to read. When television came along, she liked watching especially soap operas. When television first came out, people thought that it would be the ruination of man. She did not think that. She thought it was a marvelous invention. She liked movies. Her favorite movie star was Charles Reardon. She said that he looked like Bert. She had a crush on him. She also listened to a lot of radio.
She did not get into politics very much. She did vote. She also worked at the voting stations on voting days. During her lifetime, the presidents were Teddy Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Franklin Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Nixon, and Johnson.
She lived through the great depression and it was very tough. She did not talk very much about it. As a result of the depression, she valued everything that she had. During WWI, the social changes included the radio coming in, the horseless carriage, trolley cars in downtown Salt Lake, Gasoline or Diesel buses came into being.
She despised War or any kind of violence. She was appalled by the inhumane treatment that the prisoners of the concentration camps had to endure. She was appalled also at the assassination of Kennedy and Martin Luther King because of the violence and because they were an authority figure. She was raised to respect the authority figures.
Depression, turmoil and upset-she would get very quiet not necessarily a mood swing. When she did get this way, she would spent a lot of time with Edna and talk. She would get depressed because Bert was not around and she missed him. Finances also caused her to have turmoil and depression. Most families did not talk about things as they do now. Things just were not discussed. Ray did not think that she really had a social life.
Her saddest memories were when Bert died, her mother died (natural causes when Ray was a baby) and her father also dying of natural causes. She loved her grandchildren and extremely thrilled when each one came along. She had a hard time dealing with the death of her granddaughter Phranquee Binkerd (daughter of Frank and Buffie). She had been tragically shot while only 14 years old. The death was always a very emotional issue for her.
Nedra was family oriented and loved them very much. She suffered many health problems but still reached out to others. She has made a major impact on many people’s lives.
At her sister’s death, Edna McFarlane McVey (sister) wrote a poem about her that was read at the funeral.
TRIBUTE
I would like to share with you
Some treasures from my past
Which prove to me that memories
Are the worthwhile truths that last
My thoughts are of a humble home
With parents kind and dear
Who always were reminding us
Of just why we were sent here
We had an older brother
Who was a worthy example
Of the basic qualities of a good life
And he was generous with the samples
Nedra was different than he
Inclined to torment and tease
But if she took a liking to you
She would do anything to please
When she learned that mother
Was expecting for the third time
She ordered a sister
But Win thought a brother
Would be fine
Well, they speculated
And they both counted the days
When mother finally delivered
Were they ever amazed
There was a brother for Win
And a sister for Nedra too
Now wasn’t that the nicest thing
For a loving mother to do?
Especially in my earlier years
As I began to grow
I resented her taunting and teasing
And proceeded to let her know
We are told not to be lifted up in pride
But that’s what I began to be
Seeing that my pride hurt most
The one most important to me
But as our lives continued
It didn’t take me long to see
That in giving me a sister like Nedra
The lord had surely blessed me
She became like my mother
And taught me everything good
Cushioning the blows that are crushing
As a loving mother should
She taught me the worth of forgiveness
And how to bounce back after each defeat
How to look for only the good
In each person you chance to meet
She taught me that hard knocks
Proves what you’re really worth
And prove to God and others
How you valued your sojourn on earth
Now as we are separated
But I feel her nearness to me
I hope I too can leave this existence
Better for eternity.
Nedra had one sister and two brothers. Her sister was Edna who was four years younger. Her brothers were Edwin (twin to Edna who died in a flu epidemic about 1919) and Winfield. She remembers when Edwin died. It was very traumatic and hard for her. She missed him. The family did not seem complete without him around. The whole family also had the flu. Edwin was hit over the head while playing the game "train" and he died about ten days later. Edwin was blond and Edna's hair was a gold color. They used to be called "silver and gold." Nedra thought that was wonderful and liked those nicknames.
When Nedra was six, she moved out to Garfield for about 14 years. When she was 20, the family moved back to Salt Lake. While Nedra was growing up, Garfield, Utah was a mining town. It is not there now. The company owned the town and everything in it in a company town. The family leased their home from the company that John was employed. Nedra grew up in a middle-income family.
Her father was the first to teach Nedra to pray. Nedra thought a lot of prayer and of the Holy Ghost. Her father was not an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He did not care what church his family attended. They just had to get religious training somewhere. As a child (when attending Sacrament meeting), the family were to sit together. Nedra called it "afternoon meeting." They also had family prayer. There never was a meal without a prayer. They all took turns praying. Her father said beautiful prayers. She remembers her dad saying a prayer over a sick child. If Nedra and her siblings did not go to primary or Sunday School, they would not be allowed to play until church was out. They were taught that they had to go to church and not just to the church parties.
Nedra remembers her parent is helping the needy often... It was done in secret many times.
Nedra and Edna always did the evening dishes unless they were ill.
When her mother was ill, Aunt Rye (sister to Harriet) took care of the kids. It did not matter if Harriet was operated on or if her health was poor. Her mother also had high blood pressure. The general family health was good. Harriet's health was off and on. Aunt Rye was close to the family. She was loved more than anyone was. She lived in Idaho. She was like a second mother.
Nedra attended Webster elementary school in Salt Lake City, Utah for a year. The rest of her education was in Garfield (the town is non-existent now). In high school, Nedra helped people with housework, helped to put lunches in sacks for workers. This paid 50 cents a day. She got a 10-cent raise. She felt that she had a good job. This was used for school money. At that time, workers at Kennecott had to live in Garfield or Magna. Nedra was in the glee club at school. For one semester, she was in the orchestra. She made good grades in school. She usually got a "B" average.
Nedra attended public schools and graduated in either 1927 from Cyprus High School.
Nedra's first date was when she was 20 years old. However, she was always in a group setting. It was not as it is now. Dating was when the couple started to get serious. In Garfield, there was not much to do. There were dances once a month at the church.
She was an excellent student in high school and in college. Nedra attended the Holy Cross School of Nursing and received her R.N. degree there. From 1931-35, she worked up at the Holy Cross-hospital. She met Bert in 1934. She dated Bert about a year Ray thinks, he is not sure. Back then, courtships were longer than they are now. She was in the nursing profession for 50 years. She loved that field. Ray feels that she went into nursing because she enjoyed helping others and she did very well in the Biology and other health subjects.
She got her R.N. degree before she met Bert at the Holy Cross School of Nursing, which is at the University of Utah now.
Ray feels that his mom could and should have been a doctor. When she was taking care of someone or in the operating room, she had a sixth sense. Especially when she was working surgery. She was critical of surgeons because she spent so much time in operating rooms. She never said anything to the doctors because she was raised never to question a man's authority. She liked the nursery and surgery the best. She would go to work at 5 -5:30 a.m. She also worked many graveyard shifts. She was proud of her nursing profession. Back then, women weren’t encouraged to go past nursing or else she would have been a great doctor.
From her parent’s example of helping others, she decided that she wanted to help and serve those who needed it. She volunteered for the Red Cross. Her job was to send information out. She also babysat for a crippled woman who had four children. She helped people to do errands for years. She also worked at the Murray B. Allen Center for the blind. Approximately 1968-69, she helped Tony Polycronis (friend and neighbor) when he became ill. She also took care of his wife Sophie and Sophie's mother. Sophie lost her sight and need insulin.
Nedra did a lot of special duty off and on at the Holy Cross Hospital for 3 ½ - 4 years. She also worked in many homes for all ages. She worked at the arsenal as a nurse for 2 1\2 years even though she had a lot of trouble walking.
She first flew on Western airlines. She applied to be an airline stewardess. Back then, stewardess had to be a nurse. She flew from Salt Lake City to _________. It was just a one trip thing. For one reason or another, she did not stay with that job. She loved to fly and found it enjoyable.
Nedra and her sister Edna met Jennie Binkerd at a drug store. Jennie was upset at that meeting because there was a rumor that Bert took advantage of a girl. Jennie asked the girl if this was true and the girl denied it. She said that Bert was a perfect gentleman. A different guy had asked her out and she was repulsed by him. He was the one who started the rumor.
Religion never affected Nedra and Bert is dating. He would sometimes go to Sunday School with her. They respected each other’s religious viewpoints.
Nedra was scared to death when she got married. She was married on her brother’s birthday (W.W. McFarlane). They were married at 468 Redondo Avenue in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was at her parent’s home. There were two marriage ceremonies because Nedra wanted to be married by a L.D.S. bishop by the name of Clarence Shank. Bert wanted to be married by Reverend Elmer Goshen.
Nedra liked best about Bert was that he was there for her. They did not really ever fight. They had a lot in common such as yard work, kids etc. When they lived on 33rd South and 11th West by the Jordan River. Ray remembers his mother calling out the door that “supper was on” to Bert. Nedra and Bert had a calm relationship. There was a lot of understanding. They were there for each other.
When they became engaged, both families were complimentary and happy. They were engaged about a year. She got married late in life. Bert’s inner strength and being a gentleman drew Nedra to him. They walked a lot during courtship. Ray feels that it was love at first sight when she saw Bert. Ray does not know how his father felt. Ray guesses that their first home was with Bert’s mother.
When she was pregnant with Ray, she and Bert went and saw someone who just had a baby. She announced to him that she was pregnant by saying "would you like to hold a baby of your own?" He stopped the car and just squeezed her. When Ray was born, she was scared to hold him because he was so small. It was not long before he was held all the time.
Arden lived only five days. Nedra was deeply hurt when he died. It was very traumatic for her. Arden was named after Nedra. His name is spelled backwards is Nedra.
With every pregnancy, she was morning sick. She would at first think it was something that she ate. Bert got sick that was similar to morning sickness at the same time. After the labor was over, Bert got the cramps.
On a typical Sunday while the boys were growing up, dinner was a big thing and they would eat together. During the week, Ray remembers eating piece meal because Nedra was working. When she was working at the rest homes, she worked mostly graveyards and the boys were left alone. The lived a house (after Bert died) that had an apartment downstairs at 2582 Green Street in Salt Lake City, Utah. Edna lived up stairs. Nedra enjoyed cooking and was good at it. Ray especially liked the creamed Cauliflower and meatloaf.
Arden lived only five days. Nedra was deeply hurt when he died. It was very traumatic for her. Arden was named after Nedra. His name is spelled backwards is Nedra.
Nedra disciplined the children more than Bert did. She did it by mostly talking to them. After Bert died, Ray and Frank would be in bed. Nedra would come and beat them with a broom for something that they did earlier. The next morning, she would be so sweet it was sickening (according to Ray). Ray does not remember many spankings but mostly talking. Lying made her mad. Ray tried a couple of times and Nedra saw right through him. Bert was very gentle and did not do much disciplining.
She raised her children as a single parent. Ray was affected by not having a masculine disciplinarian around. He shot off his mouth a couple of times when he should have been knocked on his butt. Nedra had the boys do chores such as dishes etc... Ray would try to get out of it but Nedra would always catch him.
Nedra was full of spirit. She would say, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out.” Nedra had car that Ray and Frank (junior high school going into high school) would steal at night and drive it. Ray and Frank both had keys. She caught her nephew Marvin McVey (Edna’s son) a couple of times. Nedra liked to walk and did a lot of it. That was her mode of transportation before she got her cars.
She had been in poor health while her children were growing up and in her older years. In 1939, she had an operation to help the bone infection in her breasts and rib bone marrow. It took 5 years to recover. She had Osteomilities (tuberculosis) and spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital. She had surgery and was one of the first guinea pigs for penicillin. It cured her. At one time while receiving an IV, the veins collapsed in her arms so the IV was put in her feet. When Nedra started to take the penicillin (every four hours), Bert gave it to her faithfully. In 1944, she got some penicillin. This was harder to get at the time that Bert died.
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She was in a body cast for a year. It was right after Bert died. Ray remembers Frank going to Nebraska to live with some relatives but he does not remember whom. Ray went to Magna (then called the “Arthur Mills.” (Company housing) to live with his Uncle Win (Nedra’s brother). After about 1 ½ years (1944-45) he went to live at St. Anne’s orphanage until the fall of 1945. He would come home on Thursdays. Ray said that he felt vacant because both his mom and dad were both gone. It was very hard on him.
Nedra was still sick and bed rest. She would read a lot. She was at Edna’s during all this. She and Edna were inseparable throughout their life. Nedra was upset the way the family was being split up while she was so ill. She did not like it but she had no control over it. It bothered her all her life that it had to happen.
She also had stomach problems and rheumatism that affected her walking. She had bad back pains and that was how she found out that she had a mild heart condition.
She was not well when Bert died. She had a hard time walking. Ray and Frank had to help dress her. Her bones in the spinal column started to bother her. The disease in her breast and ribs had spread. This was the cause of her not walking too well. She was put in the hospital. During this time, she rented out her home at 2499 So. 8th East.
At St. Marks hospital, Dr. Pemberton told her that she might never walk again. She had a small body cast and her legs were the only things moving. She eventually got a complete body cast (which was necessary to live) for 14 months. The only thing that she could do was to feed her self. Nedra would pull her bed over to the other patients (who had eye operations) and help feed them.
Many religions prayed over her. The elders from the L.D.S. church administered to her a lot. Her brother in law Mac McVey did also.During a back operation, she was being given a transfusion and her veins collapsed. They had to find another vein fast. She almost died. They had to make an incision to find the vein.
Nedra's sold her house and moved into a house with her sister Edna. She could not be left alone. The house that Nedra and Edna bought was at 2580 Green Street in Salt Lake City, Utah. Edna lived upstairs while Nedra lived down stairs in her own apartment (2582 Green St.) . It was a joint deal. She lived there from 1946 to 1986.
The hospital was good to let her children come see her even though kids were not allowed. While she was in the hospital, the kids were placed in the St. Anne's orphanage for 1 ½ years. She was able to see the kids on weekends. She fought off depression by having pictures of her kids by her bed. The doctor had her try to walk. She took eight steps very painfully. She had the faith that she would walk again. She read books and crochet to full her time while at the hospital. In 1952, due to more health problems, she had a “female operation.”
After Bert died, finances were tough. This was another trial she had to go through. Before Bert died, the income was fair to moderate.
Nedra had some chances to remarry. A couple of years after Bert's death, she met a man that she thought she would like to marry. While doing dishes one time, she started shaking and had a negative feeling come over her. She decided not to marry him and felt a great relief. She found out years later that the guy was a wife abuser. She said that she was so grateful for prayers being answered. Nedra dated a few people. She like a couple of them but for whatever reasons it fell through. Ray feels that she had such a great love and devotion for Bert that is why she never remarried.
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| Nedra and Norinne Husbands visiting Ray's children at Christmas |
In the summer of 1973, due to high blood pressure, she had a stroke that affected her right side. She eventually recovered from that stroke. When Edna called Ray about her not doing well, he was there to take her to the hospital practically before the phone was hung up. She was so concerned that Ray was going to be late for his 3:00 p.m. shift at work.
Nedra felt ill the day before but thought that maybe she was coming down with a cold or something. The stroke made her dizzy, hard to talk, poor coordination. She could see but not feel her feet. She could not squeeze too tight. For 16 days, she only had liquids. In 1973, she had to retire for health reasons. She got a lot of self-satisfaction from her employment. As a result, it took some adjusting to being retired.
Nedra felt ill the day before but thought that maybe she was coming down with a cold or something. The stroke made her dizzy, hard to talk, poor coordination. She could see but not feel her feet. She could not squeeze too tight. For 16 days, she only had liquids. In 1973, she had to retire for health reasons. She got a lot of self-satisfaction from her employment. As a result, it took some adjusting to being retired.
Nedra believed very strong in prayer and that God answered them. Her grandchildren Chuck, Scott and Toni were the subject of a custody battle. It was the day of the final decision. Nedra was out in the hall of the courthouse with them. She had them go to a quiet little space with her where they all knelt down to pray. Those kids had never prayed before. She expressed her testimony that if the judge was to make the right decision that they needed to pray. They needed Heavenly Father's guidance. Her example that day made such an impact on Toni. Toni learned that she could pray to God and her prayers would always be answered.
She worked in Long Beach, California for 3 1\2 years for Mrs. Ramseyer. Mrs. Ramseyer's sister in law phoned to see if anyone who was L.D.S. could give insulin shots and chauffeur. Edna (sister to Nedra) found out about it in a round about way. Nedra called a bout it with the understanding that she would try it out for two weeks. That job last quite awhile and Nedra loved that job.
She worked at the Temple Gardens and Bonneville nursing homes. While Nedra worked at Bonneville, Chuck (grandson) needed a merit badge. He asked if he could work nights with her. He would not handle patients but he helped the nurses. Everyone was impressed. She helped him with his merit badge.
Nedra loved to make cookies. Her grandson Scott was going back to Dixie College and she made dozens of cookies for him. They were all eaten by the time Scott got to St. George, Utah. She liked to bake “Chinese Hamburger” casserole. She thought that tasted so good.
Nedra would often go with Ray and his children when they went to their favorite restaurant called the Village Inn. It was very enjoyable to Nedra.
Village Inn Restaurant
abt. 1967
Left side: Scott, Ray
Right side: Toni, Nedra, Chuck
Right side: Toni, Nedra, Chuck
Seeing Toni off for her mission
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| Binkerds: Ray, Patty, Chuck, Toni, Nedra |
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| Nedra with her Great Granddaughter Jessica March 1981 |
Grandson Scott's Wedding
Sept. 1981
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| Back row: ? Wetzel, Ray, Toni, Ex-daughter-in-law JoAnn, Jean Shirts, Joe Shirts, Nedra Front: Chuck, Scott, Jaye |
Nedra had a good relationship with her daughter in laws JoAnn and Joanie (Ray’s ex-wives) and Buffie (Frank’s wife) . However, she did not have a very good one with Carol (Frank’s ex-wife) . Ray, and JoAnn lived with Nedra for awhile. After her grandson Chuck was born, they lived there until he was 6-7 months old. Frank and Carol lived with her also but not at the same time as Ray.
with Patty
Date ?
At Toni's wedding reception
Grandaughter Toni's Wedding
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| Nedra, Edna (sister), Jessica (Great granddaughter) |
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| Gregg, Toni, JoAnn Shirts Binkerd LeMmon, Ray Nedra, Jean Shirts
At Toni's wedding breakfast
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Kathy Rosengren, Mindy Manwill, Nedra
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One June 5, 1983, Nedra, Jack Binkerd (nephew), Gregg and Toni (granddaughter and husband) went to the Salt Lake Temple where Nedra was finally sealed for time and all eternity to her husband and son Arden. This was a tender moment for her. She had missed them and loved them so much. She did not want to go through eternity without them.
Nedra had a stroke and was put into a rest home. This was so that she could have 24-hour medical care. Ray and Joanie would do her laundry which she appreciated. This meant so much to Nedra that they would do this every week so she could have clean clothes. She loved having visitors. It brightened up her day. At times, she would not recognize them right off but it did not take long for her to remember them.
In 1985, while her granddaughter Toni was living in Texas, she had a stillbirth. She was having a hard time dealing with the loss. She went up to Salt Lake City to be around her family for some added strength. While there, she went and saw her “Grandma B.” At first, she did not recognize Toni. When she realized who it was, her face lit up in a big smile. During their visit, Toni spoke of her loss. Nedra got emotional as she spoke empathetically with her. She spoke of how she felt when her own son Arden died and how hard it was to have empty arms. This conversation even bonded the grandmother and granddaughter even closer than they were before.
For entertainment, she liked to read. When television came along, she liked watching especially soap operas. When television first came out, people thought that it would be the ruination of man. She did not think that. She thought it was a marvelous invention. She liked movies. Her favorite movie star was Charles Reardon. She said that he looked like Bert. She had a crush on him. She also listened to a lot of radio.
She did not get into politics very much. She did vote. She also worked at the voting stations on voting days. During her lifetime, the presidents were Teddy Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Franklin Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Nixon, and Johnson.
She lived through the great depression and it was very tough. She did not talk very much about it. As a result of the depression, she valued everything that she had. During WWI, the social changes included the radio coming in, the horseless carriage, trolley cars in downtown Salt Lake, Gasoline or Diesel buses came into being.
She despised War or any kind of violence. She was appalled by the inhumane treatment that the prisoners of the concentration camps had to endure. She was appalled also at the assassination of Kennedy and Martin Luther King because of the violence and because they were an authority figure. She was raised to respect the authority figures.
Depression, turmoil and upset-she would get very quiet not necessarily a mood swing. When she did get this way, she would spent a lot of time with Edna and talk. She would get depressed because Bert was not around and she missed him. Finances also caused her to have turmoil and depression. Most families did not talk about things as they do now. Things just were not discussed. Ray did not think that she really had a social life.
Her saddest memories were when Bert died, her mother died (natural causes when Ray was a baby) and her father also dying of natural causes. She loved her grandchildren and extremely thrilled when each one came along. She had a hard time dealing with the death of her granddaughter Phranquee Binkerd (daughter of Frank and Buffie). She had been tragically shot while only 14 years old. The death was always a very emotional issue for her.
Nedra was family oriented and loved them very much. She suffered many health problems but still reached out to others. She has made a major impact on many people’s lives.
At her sister’s death, Edna McFarlane McVey (sister) wrote a poem about her that was read at the funeral.
TRIBUTE
I would like to share with you
Some treasures from my past
Which prove to me that memories
Are the worthwhile truths that last
My thoughts are of a humble home
With parents kind and dear
Who always were reminding us
Of just why we were sent here
We had an older brother
Who was a worthy example
Of the basic qualities of a good life
And he was generous with the samples
Nedra was different than he
Inclined to torment and tease
But if she took a liking to you
She would do anything to please
When she learned that mother
Was expecting for the third time
She ordered a sister
But Win thought a brother
Would be fine
Well, they speculated
And they both counted the days
When mother finally delivered
Were they ever amazed
There was a brother for Win
And a sister for Nedra too
Now wasn’t that the nicest thing
For a loving mother to do?
Especially in my earlier years
As I began to grow
I resented her taunting and teasing
And proceeded to let her know
We are told not to be lifted up in pride
But that’s what I began to be
Seeing that my pride hurt most
The one most important to me
But as our lives continued
It didn’t take me long to see
That in giving me a sister like Nedra
The lord had surely blessed me
She became like my mother
And taught me everything good
Cushioning the blows that are crushing
As a loving mother should
She taught me the worth of forgiveness
And how to bounce back after each defeat
How to look for only the good
In each person you chance to meet
She taught me that hard knocks
Proves what you’re really worth
And prove to God and others
How you valued your sojourn on earth
Now as we are separated
But I feel her nearness to me
I hope I too can leave this existence
Better for eternity.
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